I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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