Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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