so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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