i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
