i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
we're so committed to being not committed
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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