Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
