the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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