So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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