"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
