That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
