maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
