I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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