He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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