MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
