8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
