ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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