New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
