I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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