You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
