I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
