Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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