But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it hurts more in the daytime
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
