Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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