I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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