You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
