How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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