i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
