I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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