I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
