I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize