in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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