I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
