Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
last night I used snow as a chaser
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