Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
