Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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