I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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