i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize