too bad you live with your parents still
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
