let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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