I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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