Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize