16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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