do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
