Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
