I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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