is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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