My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
