i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
