Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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