did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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