community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You pole danced in your parka.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
