so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
