Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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