remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
