dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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