Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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