a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
