I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
