what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
