i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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