Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
