Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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