VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
